If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?? Sitting in my little garden on Day 7, I was being clever. I thought I was playing the loophole, then I realised I was only playing myself.
I feel it is only right to explain a bit about myself at this stage, a bit of a historical intro if you like. I had a nice 80’s free running childhood. I am from a council estate in Essex, and was lucky to be surrounded by fields - so we spent a lot of time outside. I disliked the structure of school, and finished with no qualifications. As predicted, F grades mainly - but a couple of C’s in English - thanks to my teaching hero Mr Purcell! Most of the other lessons, I slept.
None if those things define me particularly, although life experience always shapes you, doesn’t it? I worked hard to start again with my exams in college, and went on to attend university. I wanted to do these things, in my own time, and in my own way. I have always been driven, and stubborn!!
This comes from a long line of women, on my mothers side. The matriarchy gives zero fucks!
My life has at times been chaotic, messy (and as a recently re-read school report said), full of energy. So, I have always had the ability to have lots of emotions, actions, and thoughts going on all at the same time! It is honestly exhausting, and there is no surprise my life now revolves around sleep, and dealing with M.E. (click takes you to a new page).
My older self loves being calm, being outdoors and taking part in activities which bring positivity. Sporadic gardening is one of these, and Day 7 catches me out!! I pretend to myself, purchasing something on the shared bills account, doesn’t count as a strike!! Of course, it really does, and under a third of the way through, strike one 'Lavender Gate' happens.
I broke the Rules of Jim, for Lavender plants for fucks sake?! Hardly rock n' roll, over here.
I bought six lavender plants! There is no fanfare, just my adult voice telling me...I have let myself down!! Dull. I am realising each day, life isn’t all wild, mostly it’s very normal. So makes sense for normal things to catch me out. Unplanned, spontaneous, standard stuff!!
My younger self is annoyed I didn’t spend it on bourbon, plastic jewellery, or extravagant shoes! Now I am older, I wish I had been able to embrace the calm earlier in life, know it’s OK to be still. Like a stone. Not try and run past myself.
Still as the day ends, I can’t help thinking about 'Lavender Gate'. OK, I broke the rules, and it was kind of boring. But I am happy, the plants are my kind of beautiful, they smell gorgeous, and make my outside space a nice place to be.
I feel lucky to have a safe space to be in!